"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
