she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
