yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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