alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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