Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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