i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
