Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
