you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
