I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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