Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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