whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
