hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
