Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Nicole vs. Life
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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