Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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