ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
