hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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