apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
