he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
