Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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