I must be too annoying 4 u.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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