the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
