He disabled his match.com account in front of me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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