Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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