And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We need to get me chipped asap
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
