normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
wow bdsm is so cute
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