For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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