Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
