i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Randomize
