Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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