For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
