are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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