Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize