im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize