i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
