i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
