fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
