I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
