Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
