you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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