HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just blew my weed a kiss
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
