u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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