I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he shaved USA in his pubs
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
