He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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