Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
