Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize