I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
it was like eating out sand paper
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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