Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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