he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
