Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
