you have to choose: penises or morals?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
