How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
