i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
