wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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