She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
