Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
