I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
