all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
