I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
