Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The power of my boobs compel you
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