My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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