so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
